WHEW! Last weekend, I received Earth Shattering and Heart Breaking news. I am not at liberty to discuss it with anyone and that frustration has led to days of introspection AND trying to see the beauty in the world immediately around me – something that is usually easy for me to do has been a real struggle these past few days!
Then, as I sat in my “outdoor office”, I noticed a single, pink Canadian Lilac bloom. Just one as we approach September. Just one, presented out of season to show me that all is not darkness!
It doesn’t rain but it pours! I have several friends — yes, more than a couple (2) — who are losing their homes and struggling to find and establish the next step in their lives. I have several friends dealing with cancer and other life threatening, depreciating diseases. I have lost several friends to cancer this past year as well. ALL contributing to my pondering my longevity and the longevity of those near and dear to me.
I am 68 and nearly half way to 69 years old. That never seemed that much until all these recent events got me thinking about my own possible longevity. My Mother and My Maternal Grandparents all passed over at 72. That is a mere three years away! My Father died at 93, my Paternal Grandmother at 88 and my Paternal Grandfather at 96. So family genetics says my longevity could be 3 to 28 years. I don’t think I want 28 more years the way the world and people are. I am not sure 3 more is enough! or, is even that too much?
Yes, I found some more beauty. There are pink roses between the White Hydrangeas and the Yellow Rudbeckias that are hard to see in the picture.
As I look at friends, and other people I know, as they enter their 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th decade of life, they all have either children and grandchildren OR money!! Having neither myself, I live a totally different life experience as I look at where life would go IF disaster happens and I end up alone!
We live in a world where significant people and friends are scattered and busy with their own lives. Communities are disappearing and neighbors are no longer neighborly. The internet seems to be all consuming – much of it superficial and too much of it generated by trolls.
So what would a pushing 70 man do if suddenly he lost the man he loved, could no longer afford the roof over his head or a vehicle and was without medical insurance? What life is possible on social security that allows a dog, maybe some pots to grow a few vegetables and room for a very few special possessions.. There would be no chickens:(
The thought scares me. But in the world we know today, we, at least *I*, have to think about this. I need to do some research and see just what the possibilities are.
Interestingly, coincidentally 🙂 this article appeared in a news feed this week: No Spouse, No Kids, No Caregiver: How to Prepare to Age Alone
Not something I really want to think about BUT something I need to think about!
Meanwhile the Asters are starting to bloom and every year, thanks to the birds, we have more and more!
Asters make me smile and I always think of The Dinner Service being hand painted In The Style of Celia Thaxter!
Aster Place Setting for Dinner Service Hand Painted In The Style of Celia Thaxter
Obviously this one and only Dinner Service eventually with 14 Place Settings, Hand Painted In the Style of Celia Thaxter, is one of the special possessions that will accompany me until the end. I am still trying to figure out a suitable place for it to go after I have passed.
In the meantime, I may just have a cup of coffee in the coffee cup or some soup in the cream soup to remind me that life hasn’t reached a dismal point just yet!
AND
Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket!!
This is an unusual post for the man I know to be a positive force in a lot of people’s lives
Sometimes we loose sight of our effect on others. Best to focus on one step at a time and
Attend to all the goodness in your life.So much you have accomplished and in a short
Period of time. I remember crying all day on my 25 th birthday thinking my life was over and all would end at 30. That was was 49 years and many joys ago. Keep helping your loved ones be they family or adopted family and goodness will come. Money never solved anyone’s problems.
Thank you!
James
Even though we’ve never met I feel somehow we are connected. Our love of star island is a Huge connection.
I too am living on a meager income of social Security and a little business. I have managed to keep my sheep chickens and cats thus far. So i know a little of what you are feeling.I am lucky and have three children who care about me and will take care of me. But I am an independent person and hope I can take care of myself till the end whenever that will be . Looking back I struggle constantly with how I’m going to survive but in the end I always do.Things always
come out the way they’re supposed to come out not the way I planned but always in a good way. A week from Sunday I am leaving with a friend to go to Star Island I haven’t been there since the 90s I still don’t know how I can afford it but in the end it will all work out.
Last year I was diagnosed with Lyme’s disease I have probably had it since the late 90s and it finally reared its ugly head but in the end now I’m really glad that I found out what was wrong with me . I have more trust these days that things will work out and I have a good feeling about you that things will work out for you .
Sending you good thoughts
Carole
Thank you!